Embracing Healthy Conflict for a Thriving Organization

Conflict Avoidance

Conflict avoidance within an organization manifests as major issues no one is willing to confront head-on. Everyone knows there's a problem, but they fear the consequences of addressing it, so they just turn a blind eye. The discomfort and anxiety caused by unaddressed conflicts only worsen over time, and eventually they become the proverbial "elephants in the room."

Unresolved conflicts can create a toxic culture within the team, organization, or any relationship. When people are not talking about the most important issues, it's akin to having a knot in your muscles, disrupting the entire system's functioning. It's not just about the specific conflicts; it's about the overall efficacy and flow of the system. And let's face it, we all know this to some extent. We recognize that we might be conflict avoidant, but we struggle to find the willpower to tackle it, usually because of fear or a lack of faith in the resolution process.

So what does this mean for teams and organizations? Well, it means people are leaking their attention and energy, wasting their capacity on unaddressed conflicts that distract them from fully engaging in their work. This not only affects productivity but also takes a toll on individuals' well-being, leading to lower engagement and higher turnover rates. It's a situation we definitely want to avoid, but it's quite common in organizations, especially as they grow larger.

Shifting to Healthy Conflict

Shifting from conflict avoidance to a healthy culture of addressing conflict starts from the top. The four-part change model I learned at McKinsey comes into play here: role modeling, fostering understanding and conviction, developing talent and skills, and reinforcing with formal mechanisms. These four aspects play a crucial role in successful culture change, though it's no easy feat, especially in large organizations.

1. Fostering understanding and conviction is the first step. People need to grasp the nature and dynamics of conflict avoidance to recognize when it's happening and understand why it's problematic. Providing examples and stories of how others have addressed conflicts constructively can be a powerful catalyst for change.

2. Next comes developing talent and skills, teaching people how to handle conflict more effectively. Nonviolent communication is a valuable technique that allows individuals to create a shared reality through empathy, minimize defensiveness, and communicate openly and honestly.

3. Role modeling is essential. Change has to start from the top, with the most senior person taking the lead and encouraging the executive team to adopt constructive conflict resolution practices. Only then can this culture trickle down and have a lasting impact.

4. Reinforcing with formal mechanisms cements the commitment to change. Incorporating conflict resolution practices into performance evaluations, compensation systems, and meeting protocols demonstrates that the organization values and encourages openness and collaboration.

Now, let me share a story from one of my clients, the VP of product at a mid-size tech company. They were facing challenges in their relationship with the CEO, feeling dominated and unable to express themselves. Through nonviolent communication training and role modeling during our sessions, the VP mustered the courage to have a powerful conversation with the CEO, addressing their concerns openly. Surprisingly, the CEO appreciated the transparency and their relationship grew stronger, leading to improved collaboration.

Health Conflict Essential to Feedback

To sustain healthy conflict in an organization, it's crucial to embrace a feedback culture. Regular feedback rituals, where team members express gratitude and address any lingering conflicts, are essential for maintaining a healthy team dynamic. It may feel scary initially, but over time, it fosters trust, support, and openness, resulting in a thriving organization.

In conclusion, conflict avoidance can be detrimental to an organization's growth and success. Embracing a culture of transparency and constructive conflict resolution can create a healthier and more vibrant working environment. By fostering understanding, developing skills, role modeling, and reinforcing these practices, teams can build a solid foundation for long-term success. Remember, a commitment to open communication and genuine support can lead to remarkable transformations within any organization.